The “Train Station”
When I first entered the train station, I didn’t know where I wanted to go, I just knew that I wanted to go somewhere awesome. I was in awe at how large, and beautiful the station was and how thousands of trains came in and out of this place, each operating on their own schedule. The station was filled with copious amounts of diverse people. The people came from all walks of life, yet they all had one thing in common; they were all challenged to make a series of decisions that would have more of impact on the outcome and quality of their life than any other decision that they would be required to make while on their journey. I, like everybody else, struggled with these decisions in my own way. I knew that I need to first decide where I wanted to go, and then I need to find a train that would get me there.
I knew that “finding my train” wasn’t meant to be a race, so early on I felt no urgency to start working. In fact, I often found myself getting distracted by the many amenities that the train station offered. There were several stores for me to peruse, shows for me to attend, and people to meet. One day, while exploring the station, I came across an arcade that had many of my favorite games. I thought to myself, “It couldn’t hurt to play games for a while.” I had lots of fun flowing from game to game, going for high scores, and interacting with the other people in the arcade. One such group of people that I ran into while there called themselves the “hooligans”. They were fun, layed-back and knew every game — including the secret levels and cheat codes.
They had been in the arcade for years and had no intentions of leaving their playground in the near future. The leader of the “hooligans” was wealthy and could afford to play as many games as he wanted. He knew that “finding his train” was important, and he wanted to do that someday, but he didn’t see the rush, especially when he was having so much fun playing video games. The others were not so eager to leave the station for different reasons. One couldn’t afford a ticket (probably because he was spending all his money on games) and another was worried that his riotous lifestyle would not be allowed on the train while he traveled.
After awhile, I realized that I was getting bored of playing games and decided to jump back on my quest to find my train. I figured a good place to start was to head over to the large wall of monitors that listed every new arrival. Many of the destinations were foreign to me but after a little research, I began to gather a list of places (more like areas) that were interesting to me. I played close attention to the monitors and any time a something came in heading to a destination on my list, I would head to the ticket counter to enquire about a ticket. It seemed like my life was a constant roller-coaster, I would get super excited about a train coming in and rush to the ticket agent just to find out that I was either a day late or a dollar short. I did my best to stay positive, assuring myself that another one would come soon, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t getting frustrated.
Once, while I was staring at the monitors, I started a conversation with a girl who seemed to be frustrated like I was. “See anything interesting?” I asked her. “I don’t know” she replied with a disheartened tone. I was curious as to what could cause her to be so dismayed, so I asked her what happened. It turns out that shortly after she decided where she wanted to go, she found the “perfect” train to get there. The tickets were in her price range, it had all the features that she wanted, and it came highly reviewed. She energetically got her ticket and then jumped on board to check it out. To her surprise, the inside was nothing like what she thought it was. It was dirty, decrepit and she wasn’t convinced that it could make the trip so she got off before it departed. She was able to get her money back but there was nothing she could do about the time she had lost, and at the train station, timing is everything.
Although it’s easy to get discouraged at the train station, one of the benefits is that you’re never alone. There is always a plethora of people there who, at least from a high level, are going through the same thing you are and it’s fun to bond with those people and draw strength from knowing that you’re you’re all in “this” together. It is a bittersweet feeling when one of your friends finally “finds their train” and moves on to the next chapter of their life. You help them buy the ticket, celebrate with them as they enter the doors and promise each other that you’ll stay in contact. However, as you watch them leave the station, you know that your friendship will never quite be the same.
Occasionally, old friends that have since started their journey, come back to for brief moments and it is always an interesting experience to run into them. Sometimes they come in on a layover so they just have a few minutes to chat before they continue towards their destination. For them, the idea of coming back is exciting because they are curious to see how things have changed. When they run into somebody that they used to be friends with, they automatically think, “wow, you’re still here?”. They have no intentions to be condescending, but that question is not received well. For both parties, the encounter is short, enjoyable and weird. There is a confusing emotion that comes from seeing somebody that you USED to relate to (and be really close with) and now have very little in common with.
One of the lessons that I’ve learned as I’ve had a chance to talk with these old friends is that their journey is never quite what they expected. All of them have tales of unexpected turns, stops, and complications. These conversations have taught me that you never really know what is going to happen in the future so it is important to enjoy where you’re at now. If all you ever say to yourself is “I’ll be happy when …”, you’ll never really be happy. Just be happy now.
The other type of encounter with old friends that you sometimes have is a little more tragic. Mine happened like this. I was walking towards the wall of monitors when I saw an old friend of mine looking intently at the departures. I knew that the had already found his train so I was curious as to why he was interested in the departures list. I assumed that he was just on a layover, but as I walked closer to him, I could see that he was a little bruised and shaken up. “What happened to you?!” I asked. He then began to tell me an awful story about how ride started out really great but then things slowly started to break along the way and despite his best efforts to fix the situation, his train eventually derailed. He was grateful that he made it out alive, but it was clear that he had sustained some serious injuries. Not ready to give up, he made his way back to the station to find another train. He worried that the other ticket agents would see him as one who has a “bad omen” or that they might accuse him of causing his derailment. I did my best to assure him that there was another train out there for him and that he just needed to be patient. After all, that was the advice that had been keeping me going for years.
And it still is. I am still sitting in front of the wall of monitors, not-so-patiently waiting for my train to arrive. I am occasionally haunted by thoughts like “maybe I have missed it” or “what if it never comes”, but I’m quick to dispel those thoughts from my head and I remain confident that my train is coming and that it’s going to be awesome. My travel fund is in order and my bags are packed. I’m ready to jump on a train as soon as the RIGHT opportunity presents itself. I don’t want a fancy train that has no destination, nor do I expect to find the perfect locomotive. I know that compromises will be made as I finally decide which train is right for me. Until then, I will practice patience and prepare for my long-awaited journey.